25 Feb

Colleen Brown 2 blog

LUKE 11:13 | …How much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!


A written “Personal Calling Statement,” along with “What could prevent you from living out your calling?” was required for a recent event that my husband and I were fortunate to attend. It had been awhile since I’d written out a fresh version of my calling statement, so it was good to need to do so. These last six years of working with at-risk teens in an anything but Christian environment (as opposed to the previous decade at home and in ministry) has tweaked how I see my calling.

As I began sharing both pieces mentioned above with the group, at the last minute I decided not to read aloud the second piece, the “what could keep me from living out my calling” one, because I was so SICK of it. I was SO done feeling like God’s special gifts and anointing were always for everyone else in the room, but not for me. And that was my barrier, something I’ve known is a lie, but couldn’t extricate from some deep places.

Later that evening, after a powerful time of being prayed for, I circled back to the Lord to ask him if it was ok that I skipped sharing that part. My heart heard him say with a smile, “Yeah, I’m tired of that one too.” It was time for me to MOVE ON already! That interaction was so personal and freeing. There was no condemnation, just a coach’s challenge, saying, “Alright then—Let’s go!”

Shortly after this agreement to move on from my stuck place, God brought to my attention the command that occurs more than any other in all of scripture—not the one I would’ve guessed. I probably would’ve gone with something along the lines of loving God or something hard to do, like “avoid pride.”

To my surprise the command that appears more than any other is: Fear not. God says these two little words 366 times in the Bible, knowing we’d need at at least one for each day of the year.

Fear not. Hmmm… What does that tell us about what the Father knows of his children? He knows that this child of his is prone to stay put and miss the opportunities to follow him that require risk. If asked to make a list of my top weaknesses, “fearfulness” wouldn’t have been on it. But when I looked a little closer, I realized that I allow myself to miss out on a lot because I am afraid to fail. I see others that are more ready or capable, so I “let them do it.” I fear being the one who messes up… and I miss out. How much has fear stopped me from going the distance in living out my calling, or blocked me from experiencing God’s gifts and anointing in the ways I long for?

I have been asking for more of the Holy Spirit and capacity for more of him, and he has shown that he is willing to pour out. “How much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” But sometimes when I ask for more, I stay in my comfort zone, where he can only pour out so much. There’s a lot more room for him to pour out if I’m stepping into new and unknown places with him.


    1. What broken records are you sick of hearing about yourself that you think the Lord might be tired of too?
    2. What lies are at the root of those beliefs?
    3. How big a role does fear play in what you will and will not do with the Lord?


This reading is part of our "On Earth as It Is in Heaven" devotional series. You can also sign up to receive these meditations by email.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Colleen Brown has been with CRM since 1997. Over the years, her roles have included working with the Staff Development and Care Team, serving behind the scenes at CRM events and conferences, and printing the “Just Between Friends” staff newsletters. Colleen and her husband, Kevin, have three daughters and reside in Vancouver, Washington.